The answer to most problems is….
Stay in your own lane.
I know you’re a fixer and love helping others…
BUT…
Unless those “others” are asking for your specific help, you aren’t helping them by suggesting, giving advice, doing things on their behalf, or protecting them from their own emotions and circumstances.
Worry is NOT love.
Worrying and love are two different things and one is not a condition to the other. Worry only makes love feel heavier, wouldn’t you agree?
I know we all believe to some degree that love without worry is not love. But that’s just a myth, that keeps us hooked to worry. Think about it, love with worry makes you be controlling. It takes away so much ENERGY and TRUST from you and from the ones you are worrying about.
What is self-care?
Self-care is not always what we think it is. Sure, bubble baths, wine with friends and a day at the spa are fun, relaxing ways to fill up our cups. But they are not efficient, long-term solutions to a nervous system that is in override.
Self-care has to do two things for you: Give the brain a break and give the nervous system time to process and recalibrate. RESET.
Anxiety, is a primitive safety tool for humans.
It is the response that alerts the nervous system and the brain of danger and it makes us run to safety.
However, our brain cannot tell the difference between being in the middle of a dangerous situation or, having thoughts about a dangerous situation. To the brain, both scenarios are scary.
After coaching women for 8+ years, I’ve come to the conclusion that what we fear the most isn’t failure, it turns out that we are far more comfortable with failure than we are with success.
You fear success more than you fear failure.
Can you recognize your own patterns?
I have been fascinated by patterns for a while now.
When you are able to see the same situations play over and over again in your own life, and you wonder; why is it that life sends me the same story time after time?
When would you rather work on things? (business, marriage, health, finances, etc…) when it’s “sunny” or in the middle of a storm?
I know the answer for me was not the storm.
I know I want to work on things while it’s sunny so that when the storm comes, I’ve got plenty of energy, resources and vitality to ride the waves of the storm.
Sleep, is a big subject of conversation in my coaching calls and to be honest, within myself.
In order to determine how a patient is doing psychologically, a therapist asks about their sleep. Because the sleep is the reflection of the emotional body.
Not surprisingly, when a person is going through high levels of stress, emotional turmoil, grief, change, health issues, etc., the sleep tends to suffer.
Started going for walks, and then got too busy to continue?
Despite your best intentions of keeping to the goal, putting it in your calendar, telling others to keep you accountable…there was always something a bit more pressing.
If you are completely honest with yourself, while you would love to do those daily walks, deep inside you don’t believe it’s THAT important.
There is a strong built-in habit within you that has you convinced that if it is “just for you or about you”, it can wait.