As I was driving home last night, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts. Their topic was all about her and her guests’ struggle with victim mentality. I believe this is an important issue that needs to be addressed, and this inspired me to talk about it too in my podcast.

Victim mentality is blaming others and expecting negative things to happen. And sometimes, we don’t even know that we’re doing it. Having this mentality is an easy way out, it’s easier to blame others and take no responsibility for it. It’s easy, but it causes someone to suffer.

In this episode, I’d like to share with you how to get out of the victim mindset. How to take over your life and use that power to transform what was once a victim, into being your own superhero.

Three Beliefs Of People With Victim Mindset

First, bad things happen, and will keep on happening. Second, other people or circumstances are to blame. Lastly, is that any efforts to create change, will fail.

A person with a victim mindset has unhealthy thoughts. It disrupts their life and robs them of the joy in everything. The negativity causes them to suffer internally.

Mental Changes To Get You Out Of The Victim Mode

Step 1 is recognizing and understanding that you are in a victim mindset. It’s typical of a person with a victim mindset to blame others, making excuses, and just avoiding responsibility. 

When faced with circumstances that have negative outcomes, they tend to not do anything and believe that it’s not any of their fault. They just wait on things to get better or for others to fix the situation for them. There’s an underlying fear in them that even if they do seek solutions, nothing good will happen. So basically, they just think of negative thoughts that disrupt they’re way of living and even their way of interacting with other people.

And for some, they don’t recognize or identify themselves to be in the victim mindset until they learn of the signs that point to this mentality. The first step is to recognize and accept that you are indeed in a victim mode.

Ask Yourself, What Are The Beliefs You’re Holding?

Identifying your beliefs gives you an idea that what you’re thinking is making you feel like a victim. And through identifying, you get to see which ones you can take responsibility for. It’s like slowly working on the problem. 

For most, the victim mindset is rooted from past trauma. And despite beliefs coming from your bad experiences, having a desire to change is pivotal towards your transformation. And as a coach, that’s where I come in. You have to be all in, a hundred percent, in order to make change.

Forgive Your Past 

This is very difficult, but is very powerful when done. Forgiving takes back control of your heart. All the negative emotions will be let go,and it will be easier to get out of the victim mode. And once you know what you want to feel, then you can easily recreate new beliefs. 

Be Grateful And Set Boundaries

Instead of thinking of the bad things, shift your mindset into thinking about the good things and be thankful about it. In circumstances where it’s mostly bad, find the good in it and be grateful. 

Setting Boundaries and Finding Solutions

Some situations are out of our control, so you need to set boundaries of things you can do and you can’t do. Start finding solutions, and if it fails, learn to move forward. The lessons you learned from the failures are also a win, because you were able to move past the fear of responsibility. 


These are some of the ways to get out of the victim mentality, and there could even be more. But, what’s really important is the power that lies on you. The moment you identify you’re in a victim mentality and decide for yourself that you want to get out of it and free yourself from this mentality, is the time that you can truly move toward a real transformation.

I am no longer a victim, but a superhero of my own.