Do you also have a hard time saying no?

A professor once told me that the reason we all struggle with “no” is because at an unconscious level, we associate the word “no” with death.

Yeah, I though that was weird too.

She said that what comes after death is a blunt stop. Just like it felt after someone says “no”. It made sense to me. God knows this professor knew what she was talking about. She was the Dean of the PhD department and, also a part-time professor at Stanford University. All in all, a phenomenal psychologist.

Have you ever found yourself resenting a friend because they asked for a favour? At a closer view, you realized that her asking wasn’t the problem. However, your inability to say “no” to such favour…

I am not here to judge you, Trust me. It took me a long while (even after taking that course with the professor I just mentioned) to finally learn to say “no” when I meant it, and to say it guilt free.

Fearing to disappoint others is a common fear.

What is less common, is the people who decide to rebel against the fear and begin to say no when that’s what is in alignment with their boundaries of self-respect.

So, what is the difference between someone who has an easier time saying :no: and. someone who can’t do it?
Simply put; Boundaries.

Boundaries are behaviours led by our thoughts. So if I sound like a broken record, perhaps it is because I need you to hear this several times…

Your thoughts determine your emotions, and your emotions determine your behaviours.

If you have a hard time saying “no”, I invite you to pay attention to what are your thoughts around that.

One thing I know for sure; there is one type of thinking error that leads to believing that saying “no” and having boundaries in general makes us disappoint others. If that is you, let me ask you something…

What is it costing you to not “disappoint others”?

 

PS: In 7 days, I am starting my 12-week coaching program, RESET YOUR MINDSET. If you want to gain control back, if you want to be in charge of your mind, let’s do this!

Olga