Do you avoid difficult conversations? If you do, it’s probably because you believe that the discomfort of having the conversation is worse than the long-term consequences of not addressing the issue.
But how has that worked out for you so far?
In this episode, I will share the main reasons people avoid difficult conversations and how to build the courage to have them.
Why We Avoid Difficult Conversations
There are quite a few reasons why people avoid difficult conversations, but the main ones are fear of rejection, fear of creating conflict, and the fear of making things worse. Ultimately, being honest and upfront causes discomfort and people avoid discomfort.
How We Often Respond
Instead of having a difficult conversation, people often respond to upsetting situations by actually making things worse with one of these behaviors:
Silence, passive aggression, or ignoring it all.
Silence: Choosing to not say anything or to give the silent treatment to those they are upset with.
Passive aggression: Where the person doesn’t say it directly but gives away hints that they’re not happy.
Ignoring it all: This is when people ignore what transpired, pretending that nothing ever happened, but feeling hurt anyway.
Because all of these behaviors lead to not having an open and fluid conversation, they all skip honoring emotions and avoid their expression, it’s important to denote that in the long term, they create a sense of distance and resentment in any relationship. You can certainly do better!
Why We Need To Address Difficult Conversations
Avoiding difficult conversations might appear like the easiest thing to do, the escape you’re looking for. But avoiding it doesn’t resolve anything. And so you have to learn to cope with the discomfort and learn how to express what you feel.
You need to be honest and real to the people around you because if the goal is to keep them around for a very long time in a healthy way, there is no better ingredient to doing so than honesty.
We Can Change Our Thoughts
Your thoughts are powerful, and in difficult conversations, the thought of negative outcomes overpowers the thought of the positive ones. The solution is to start having thoughts that empower your courage to say and express what you think and feel in a way that feels safe and respectful.
Don’t delay difficult conversations, because sooner or later you will have to have them. Be authentic, be courageous. It gives everyone the chance to resolve problems even if it means having to go through difficult conversations.
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