Why do we have such a hard time deciding to invest in ourselves?
I hired a new coach and I’ve got all these thoughts about what it felt like to make this investment. My mind had so many thoughts about why that was a scary move, and why I shouldn’t invest that much money since it’s very expensive. what if I didn’t bring that money back? What if I failed at trying her strategic steps and tools? What if it didn’t work for me?
I came to the conclusion that ultimately the thoughts that I let get in the way of me making that investment was that I couldn’t cope with the reality of having invested this much money in myself, on my self-growth and self-development in my business, and not make it work.
In this episode you will learn:
- Why do we have such a hard time deciding to invest in ourselves?
- How mental drama blockages and thoughts interfere with our progress.
- Ways we can explore and begin to change the patterns that stop us from self-investment.
What stops you from self-investment?
Our doubts about self-investment can be so strong that they feel very real. These thoughts start with ‘what-ifs and end in real emotions that ultimately don’t allow you to invest in yourself. I came to the conclusion that we stop ourselves from self-investment because of a lack of courage to make a decision that is in our best interest.
Explore your doubts about that investment and ask yourself: Are these thoughts factual? How are these thoughts making me feel? Where does this discomfort in investing in myself come from? Ask yourself, could I handle this discomfort?
These thoughts just show up. But once you show up and you become aware that you are the boss, you get to choose if you like those thoughts. And if you don’t like them, you make a new one that serves you. Just because you have those thoughts doesn’t mean you have to keep having them.
Overestimating risk, underestimating your capacity
There are a lot of heavy thoughts involved that underestimate our ability to cope and overestimate the risk involved.
Mental drama blockages that just interfere with our progress, tend to underestimate our capacity to cope, deal with heavy things, deal with disappointment, sadness, with heartache. We underestimate that. And we completely overestimate the risk level.
It’s just like the thoughts I had at the moment of signing up with a new coach. I was telling myself that it was evident that I was going to fail and that I was not going to be able to cope with that. And so I overestimated the risk and underestimated my ability to cope with risk.
What did I do? I explored what was inside my mind, the mental drama that I had so that I could judge it and say to myself: what kind of person are you to have these thoughts? Now that I know better, I’ve realized that all I had to look for were thoughts that were getting in the way of making myself a priority.
Steps to making yourself a priority
How do you make yourself a priority?
Step 1: Do not ignore the discomfort.
We can feel uncomfortable spending money on ourselves. I want to remind you that it’s not spoiling yourself or being self-indulgent. Investing in yourself or investing money in your education or a side business will add energy, happiness, money, or love to your life. I invite you to have a heart-to-heart with yourself. First, notice that you have that discomfort, and then tell yourself that you are going to succeed. Your success is inevitable.
Step 2: Explore your emotions.
When you’re exploring your emotions from a place of judgment, it’s a very unpleasant experience and you likely end up quitting before the conclusion is done.
We have a tendency to actually walk away with no knowledge about why we may have behaved in an undesirable way. Ask yourself: where did this behavior come from? What thoughts did you have prior to this behavior? In fact, what do you still think about when you think of why you behaved that way?
Step 3: Go through the scenarios you are creating.
There are scenarios that you create that haven’t even happened yet and you use them just to discourage yourself. Since you couldn’t cope with investing in yourself, you assume that it’s not going to go right. Stop and think that the investment is the best thing that you ever can do for yourself. What if this investment is the thing that you’ve been actually missing to feel happy?
Self-loving self-creating, and creating time and space for yourself is an investment you don’t want to ignore. At the end of the day, the only reassurance you need from you is that no matter what, you will be okay.
I want to encourage you to really pay attention to yourself. What stops you from self-investment? Reset your mindset and learn to dissect an uncomfortable event. That observation will help you to shift it into investing in yourself.
My doors will be opening soon for the September cohort of my Reset Your Mindset group. I’m also going to be offering a Detox The Mind, five date live coaching in September, September 12. So if this is for you, if you are a perfectionist, attached to achievements, overdoing, constantly fed up with your own mind, wanting to get a break from thinking so much from feeling disappointed from being so hard on yourself. I want to coach you through that.