Many of us go through a lot of unnecessary mental drama. And sometimes it can greatly affect the way we live. I believe it is important to address this issue, to make improvements towards teaching yourself how to get out of this situation.
In this episode, I would like to share with you techniques you can take to coach yourself out of drama. Steps you can actively take to reset your mindset and be a better you, free of mental drama and a healthier mind.
Our Default Of Thought
When something bad happens, our default of thought is worry. We tend to catastrophize. Many of us have that recurring pattern of thought mindset, or thought error. Our brain can take one event that is happening today, and magnifies its impact to a worst case scenario.
But that is actually a natural reaction of the brain, because it wants to protect you. In other words, the mind thinks that if it can make you think and experience the worst possible, then only then will you be able to prepare for the worst. What we know for a fact is that there is no amount of doing today that can prepare you for the future. And so catastrophic thinking doesn’t work, it can’t stop the catastrophe from happening.
It is when an event happens, and the catastrophe didn’t happen, you kind of regret the amount of time and energy that you spent worrying, and all the things you didn’t do, that you didn’t enjoy, because you were busy worrying. And it’s time to change it.
Mental Drama Is The Byproduct Of Miscommunication
Oftentimes, miscommunication causes mental drama. One example is an incident one of my clients had. Her coworker approached her and said she didn’t like that they had team meetings at times when my client was off, she suggested that my client should speak to their boss, make changes, so that she won’t miss a meeting.
To my client that came off negatively, to her that meant she’s slacking off and it’s ruining their team meeting. She felt undervalued and judged, but when she confronted her coworker she actually didn’t mean it in a negative way, she was only concerned that my client was missing the meetings.
So that’s one way in which our mind is being dramatic. Not only do we fill out the blanks of the things we don’t know, but we fill them out in a very dramatic way that works against this. Also, we hear not what was said, but we hear what aligns with our fears.
So as a common practice, if you do have this catastrophizing, default way of thinking. If you tend to dramatize a lot, and you feel that you overreact to emotions, or to what was being said. Do yourself a favor and make it a habit to stop and ask what was said exactly.
Write It Down
To save yourself from the mental drama, make it a habit not to focus on your emotions. Instead focus on what was being said, the context of the conversation. Write down what you heard and what was being said, and you’re going to notice that there’s a massive gap between one and the other. Always opt for what was said, not what you assume those words meant. That will keep you off the drama, and that can also be done with behaviors. Let the behaviors be what informs you of what others are doing and not why you think they’re doing it.
Replace What If With What Is
It’s natural for some to think about what could happen, the what ifs but that can also lead to mental drama. You’re already in the future, when in fact you should be focusing on what is actually in front of you happening.
To heal yourself of trauma or mental drama, and always try to bring yourself back to the present. It will calm you down and will lower the dramatic tone of your inner voice.
Mental drama is not easy to let go, but persistence and the willingness to coach yourself out of it can be a huge help for you to permanently be mental drama free. And self coaching is the key. It is your responsibility to coach yourself out of it, and not to leave it out to the universe or to circumstances. Make it a habit to sit down with pen and paper, and take a few minutes a day to coach yourself out of the drama that you have. Ask yourself – What drama do I have going on my mind today? And what am I going to do about it?
Reset Your Mindset Formula
This is something that I dive in deeply throughout the 12 weeks of my Reset Your Mindset Program, but just giving you points can already help you to recognize if mental drama has entered your mind. Here are the steps you need to take:
Step 1 : Awareness. You can literally not change anything in your life if you’re not aware.
Step 2: Pause and Breath. After being aware, you need to take a moment.
Step 3: Feel the feeling. It is important that you also feel the feeling.
Step 4: Reset. This is where you begin again. Go back to the event, what actually happened, and reset your thoughts, your mindset about the situation.
It’s not always simple to come up with a new thought. But I encourage you to do the exercise to follow this formula. I promise you, when we reset and begin again with a new thought, that will make you feel differently, and hopefully less dramatic.
If you’re ready to put an end to a bully that lives inside your mind, I want to invite you to my next Five day workshop: Detox the mind from self-critical to self-confident where you will learn proven strategies to go from self critical to being self-confident for just $97! You get five days of live coaching calls with me, workbooks to go along with your lessons, and teachings that will literally transform your life. This workshop will break you free from the prison of your own thoughts. Our next workshop begins April 11th and you can join the waiting list today! Click here to sign up!
Online courses with Olga:
Overthinking? Download The Mini-Course Now!
Tired of overthinking and having a mind that does not stop worrying? I’ve been there! Here is a mini-course on how to slow down the overly preoccupied mind.