I have been overcoming a lot of obstacles. And I am actually recording this podcast episode as I am in the midst of an unknown, difficult life moment.
I thought this was a great opportunity to come on and show you how I coach myself out of mental drama, and through obstacles. I want to share my story with the only hope to give you insight and hope in your own story.
My journey as an IVF mom
I am an IVF mom. I say that with pride, because the title of motherhood is the title that I have worked for the longest and the hardest, more than any other title I have. I just finished going through a fifth round of IVF in the hopes to have our second child.
We were lucky enough to end up with an embryo that we know is a female embryo. We just transferred her into my uterus yesterday. I am a few weeks away from testing and seeing if the baby actually stuck to the uterus walls. And if it did, then that would mean that I’m pregnant.
Yesterday while we went to transfer our baby, the doctors had the bad news that our embryos in the process of defrosting had suffered significantly. And although I don’t fully understand how or what happens in that process from the embryo being in the freezer to not being frozen anymore, the quality of the embryo changed. The percentage of likelihood of this embryo sticking also changed.
Transferring the embryo
We went from really good chances to very little chances for our embryo to stick to my uterus walls. The doctor does not give us much hope at all for our embryo to work. This was not what I expected to happen on this day.
I decided to transfer the embryo anyway.
I have been injecting myself with hormones for the past seven days and I have been taking hormones three times a day. The list goes on of the things that I have been doing in the hopes to have our baby transferred into my uterus. But life happens and is unexpected. It’s not always pleasant and it’s not always fair.
When all is well, it’s easy to keep a positive mindset. But it’s when we have challenges that we think we don’t have a choice.
Dealing with bad news
There were a lot of feelings, and I am still processing, but a feeling that felt really uncomfortable for me is that the clinic didn’t follow our procedures to the best of their ability. They mismanaged much of the process. I was upset at the process, how the process got to not be followed, which I think caused the damage to my embryo. That’s a very frustrating thing, because we cannot go back in time. And that was my first point of reflection, I cannot change what’s happened.
Therefore, if I keep revisiting in my mind, all the things that they could have done that they didn’t do, I’m just going to drive myself crazy. And in the process of doing that, I’m going to take my family with me on this ride of craziness. So that cannot be it, I need to process things differently. And so that’s what I decided to do.
I gave myself the time to feel sorry for myself. From then on, I had to choose what mindset will benefit me the most, because ultimately, I am responsible for my own emotions.
How to overcome obstacles
You can overcome obstacles by wanting to be where you’re not. So I just decided to land at this moment. And in this moment, I decided that what I really needed was all of the love and the positivity and the harmony, and to bring my mind to where I actually want to go.
Yesterday for me was life’s way of giving me an opportunity to reconfirm my desire to have a strong mindset to believe that I get to be a mother a second time. I made that choice. I made a baby and I get to hold on to my hope and my desire. That is how you overcome obstacles with your mind, and not about going back in time and solving the problem. The real way to overcome any obstacle is by deciding how you want to think about this, what your mindset is going to be.
All I have is my mind, and I get to decide: is this going to be an obstacle that I’m not going to get past? Am I going to choose regret and anger? Or am I going to show up because this is my life? The only one I have? And am I going to show up in a powerful way to make it easier on me because it already stinks? And of course that’s been my decision.
My decision is that I only get to live once, and I get to enjoy this life. It’s my birthright to do so. There is nothing that I cannot overcome. I can do hard things and I can overcome obstacles. And this is my way of overcoming my present obstacle.
The power of acceptance
If I cannot change it, if I cannot modify it, if I cannot do something about it to change my reality… the only option is acceptance. Accepting does not mean I like how they handle things. But I better accept it, so I can clean my body immediately from that energy of resentment.
Acceptance is your friend, not your enemy. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re letting people get away with something. You bet I will write a formal complaint about what happened in our process. But I’m only going to do that once I feel that I fully processed my emotions. I want to do it from a really strong mindset, from a place of strength and not a place of processing.
So I want you to stop and think about that. What do I need to accept? What’s in my hands to change? How can I change it? What attitude have I been having towards this one obstacle? And is it helping me? And if it’s not, what can I do about it? That is how you overcome obstacles.
Obstacles are not solely overcome by taking steps, talking to people, getting things resolved. Obstacles are primarily resolved by adjusting our mindset, the way in which we’re looking at things, and making sure that our view of that obstacle is in alignment with how we want to feel about this problem.
I hope this was helpful! If you liked this episode, please leave a review, share it with others and come hang out with me on Instagram!
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About to go through an IVF treatment?
I know that’s a scary journey to embark on. So many things to consider and learn about, so many decisions to make…yet some of us have done it and several times!
I personally went through 3 unsuccessful rounds of IVF to finally having a 4th successful one. I wrote a mini-ebook to tell you all the things I did on the round that work.