My adorable mother showed me how to be nourishing to others. How to be loving and considerate. Any time we heard something bad happened to someone, my mom would always say; “I can only imagine what they must be feeling”. She showed me to share, to be generous, and to help those in need. Truth be told, my mom taught me everything I know about being of service. How to understand what others need and how to provide it.
What my mother didn’t imagine is that her genuine altruistic personality would become my full-time job and passion but also, my cross. Somehow, being exposed to such a beautiful side of my mom from an early age, translated into my misunderstanding that to help others, I must always please others and avoid conflict at all cost.
Maybe you have noticed that you are a people pleaser too. Maybe somewhere along the way of adulthood you too misunderstood something your parents did and told yourself that being caring and loving meant pleasing others to the cost of your own happiness and well-being.
Oh, that word. Somehow I told myself that love = sacrifice. So, according to me, being loving and caring meant I had to sacrifice something. Often my time, my opinion, my likes, my needs, my rest.
I was sitting in a therapy session as a grown adult, going over the feelings of my divorce, when the therapist clarified; “Love isn’t sacrifice. Love is freedom, Love is boundaries”.
The word that changed my world. LITERALLY. Freedom is what I feel ever since I understood that loving, caring, and helping meant having beautiful boundaries around me- not to protect me or to distance me, but to free me and my relationships from the expectation of having to please, to make others happy and to have others like me.
Until I stopped doing it, I never noticed how “people-pleasing” was killing me. It was killing my soul, my ability to help more people, my relationships, and killing my energy and well-being.
I have helped countless women feel the freedom that comes from not being preoccupied with pleasing others. I have helped them change their meaning of love and how they show up to the world every single day.
If you are feeling exhausted, low energy, and frustrated because everyone seems to take advantage of you, if you are terrified of boundaries and conflict and are done with sacrifices…say YES, and join Reset your Mindset 12-week group coaching program. The doors are open, I am ready for you. Let’s do this!Sign Up Here