I want you to focus on believing. The to-do list comes second. 

I have recently started very interesting conversations inside Becoming The CEO Of Your Own Life about embracing, embodying and becoming the woman they want to be. By not so much doing the things that the woman they want to be does, but by believing the things that the woman that they want to be believes. 

I feel so passionate about this conversation that I wanted to bring it to the podcast.

The power of your beliefs

If you apply these basic principles, you will create the life or the experience or the relationship or the job or whatever it is that you’re working towards. All by the power of your beliefs.

What do you mean I should do less and just be more? Honestly, I understand why that sounds like gibberish. We as a community, as a society, live in a world where we highly reward results based on what we do. I don’t care what you believe, as long as at the end of the day, you can show me all the work you’ve done, we’re good. And so we have become very much motivated to produce, and less mindful about what goes on in our mind as we’re engaging in this sort of production. 

What are the steps we need to take?

In my experience, working with a lot of type A personalities, when you operate from a place of just doing, there’s always a lingering sensation of not enoughness. There’s always a lingering sensation of ‘what’s next?’. This thing I thought will be amazing, is not enough. And there is some level of disappointment in that experience. 

Many of my clients are obsessed with doing. So in a session with me, they will jump in with the question ‘what do I do?’. I meditated, I exercised, I took my vitamins, what else do I need to do? 

I’m not here to coach you to do easy things, I’m here to coach you to do powerful things. So what I get my clients to do, is to be less obsessive, and almost entirely forget about their to-do list. And I’m not saying that we become unproductive, we still do things. But I want them to focus more on their values and what they believe about themselves on a daily basis in the different aspects of their lives. That’s far more powerful work than changing or adding to your to-do list. 

Where to start in doing less

So the easiest way to go about it is to ask yourself: who would you like to be, if you were not this very stressed out woman whose life is completely off balance, because she decided that she needs to be perfect and couldn’t make mistakes? And as a result, she’s spending all of her time working on deteriorating her personal relationships and her health. Who would you want to be if you were not that human? 

So let’s say that she tells me ‘I’d like to be balanced and calm, and I would like to have a strong work ethic, but that doesn’t overwhelm and takes over my life’. I will then ask you to not focus on what to do or not to do, I will ask you to focus on what you want to believe. 

So I will be saying now that you know who you want to be, you want to be a balanced person, who knows boundaries between work and family, and who’s applying them and who’s okay making mistakes. You’re clear on that. 

Scratch the to-do lists

Then we’re going to scratch the to-do lists. And instead, every week, every day, you’re going to write down what you need to believe today in order to be more balanced and stress free. Write them down! 

And don’t go crazy with 10 beliefs a day. Just think about what beliefs you need to have today. I ask myself in the morning: what would I need to believe today, in order to have an anxiety free day? In order to have fun, even though my day is full of obstacles? I write down those three beliefs, and then I come back to those beliefs, and I repeat them like they are my full time job. 

At the end of the day, you can review this practice. How did I draw my new beliefs? What tells me that these beliefs worked? What tells me that these beliefs are actually being integrated into my consciousness?

I want you to focus on believing. The to-do list comes second. 

Listen to my episode about limiting beliefs: Cleaning the mind from limiting beliefs.

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