Michelle Obama taught me something I didn’t know about myself.
I was listening to one of her interviews on t.v. shortly after she published her book “Becoming” and I heard her say to the journalist that when she experienced infertility she felt inadequate.
I was stunned.
From all the feelings I could have used and did use to describe my internal feelings towards my diagnosis of infertility, not once, had I been able to exactly pinpoint at what Michelle Obama so eloquently described.
The feeling you get when your mind tells says that you “should” be there instead of here.
It is the voice that says: “Something is wrong with you”
Feeling inadequate is what causes you to run around trying to make everyone happy. –also known as people pleasing–
It is the root cause of your perfectionist mindset. You feel inadequate inside, so you figured there is only one way to overcome that feeling…. by doing everything perfectly.
Feeling inadequate is also what’s currently stopping you from asking for guidance, help, and coaching. It is the feeling that forces you to be really hard on yourself out of fear that if you don’t, then, you won’t succeed.
Friend, women as successful, as smart and as beautiful as Michelle Obama have had that feeling. It is normal, but it is also unnecessary and painful.
Inadequacy is born the moment you let one thought enter your mind; “I AM NOT ENOUGH.”
The moment that thought enters your mind and you choose to believe it as the truth… that day, you begin to feel the absolute need to make everyone happy, to push yourself to perform perfectly, to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders by yourself, and to keep pushing at ANY cost.
BUT ….What is it costing you?
Your mental health? Your relationships? Your happiness?
Right after I heard that interview I realized that I needed support. That dealing with loss after loss and with the unknown of whether or not I was going to be a mother, had become too big and too heavy of a load for me to carry alone. My ego needed to accept that I was going through something that even my well-trained, educated mind needed backup to see blind spots and to feel held and supported.
Even coaches and therapists need help and support. In fact, some one us choose it. Sometimes it’s in the humbleness of recognizing that we are human and therefore, a work in progress, that we begin to feel enough again.
In case you are also taking too much on, in case you too feel afraid of others seeing your “inadequacies” and in case your mind offers you too many “shoulds” here is kind reminder:
You are enough.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You need zero validation.
You can ask for help and still be the strong one.
Choose to operate from a place of love. That’s your nature after all.
PS: If this speaks to you, if inadequacy is the feeling you try to avoid at all cost, and is costing you quite a bit…I would love to coach you.
PS2: Being the CEO of your own life coaching program starts January 2023, but RIGHT NOW you can sign up for it and start getting your hands into some of my private content.